


Both Compassionate and Fatigued

by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)



Series: Short and Sweet (Fics of About 1000 Words or Less) [17]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Clerics Need More Hugs, Comfort, Gen, Mentions of Previous Canon Typical Violence, Post Battle, Spoilers for Episode 39 of Campaign 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 03:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16400492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_in_ink/pseuds/Angel%20Ascending
Summary: “It’s just a lot for one day,” Caduceus said softly. “At least, for me it is. At home we’d get grave robbers, or poor undead beasts coming out of the woods, or ghosts, or even bandits sometimes, but this is like… all of those things at once. Except more so.” He shook his head. “Is it always like this? You’ve been with them for awhile now. Does it get any easier?”After the battle with the hydra, Caduceus asks Jester a question.





	Both Compassionate and Fatigued

It had been Jester who had told Captain Avantika that they needed to rest, but it had been Fjord who had managed to persuade her, with his smile and his charm and his voice, the accent he had chosen soon after he had first met Jester being very well suited to persuasiveness. Jester was glad for that even as she glared daggers in Avantika’s direction, because they really _did_ need to rest if they were going to be doing much else in the temple. So there everyone was, holed up in a chamber that wasn’t as damp as the room they had just been in, crowded under Caleb’s protective spell.

“I’m gonna take watch with Jester,” Beau said, swaying on her feet as Jester bandaged what was left of the wounds from their fight with the hydra.

“Oh no you’re not,” Jester said firmly as she tied off the last bandage. “Caduceus is taking watch with me. You have had a very long day of being diseased and then not being diseased and then kicking the ass of many things. You need sleep.”

“I’m fine,” Beau protested, but she sat down on her bedroll when Jester pushed on her shoulder, and a moment later she was stretched out and snoring faintly, one arm curled around tiny owl Frumpkin.

Jester nodded, pleased, and then looked around at the rest of the group. Yasha had cleaned her sword and fallen asleep with hydra blood still on her hands. Caleb was still awake but quiet, holding a giggling Nott, both of their pupils still huge as they looked at things that only they could see. Avantika and Jamedi were apart from the rest of the group, and Fjord was sleeping no where near Avantika, so that was fine.

That only left Caduceus, who was sitting on the ground with his legs crossed and a vaguely unfocused look on his face. His ears twitched when he heard Jester coming over though, and he seemed to come back to himself when she sat down next to him. “Miss Jester. Hi.”

“Hey,” she said back. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m…” Caduceus let out his breath in a heavy sigh. “That fight could have gone better.”

It wasn’t an answer, but yet it was at the same time. “I mean, it wasn’t _that_ bad,” Jester said. “Beau only went unconscious once, which is pretty good for her, and Caleb didn’t get hit at _all_ I don’t think and—“

“You got hurt.”

Jester shrugged and hid her wince with a smile. “Well yeah, okay, that arrow kind of sucked, but you healed me up good as new!” That wasn’t entirely true, the wound still ached, but there was no need to bring that up.

“And then before that was the vines.”

Jester tried not to think about Nott being constricted by the vines, unconscious and being pierced by thorns as the plants had wrapped around her like so many snakes. “Okay yeah, but Nott’s fine now!” She could still hear her goblin friend giggling softly nearby.

“It’s just a lot for one day,” Caduceus said softly. “At least, for me it is. At home we’d get grave robbers, or poor undead beasts coming out of the woods, or ghosts, or even bandits sometimes, but this is like… all of those things at once. Except more so.” He shook his head. “Is it always like this? You’ve been with them for awhile now. Does it get any easier?”

“It’s not always like this. It—“ Memories flashed through Jester’s mind, some more recent than others. Beau getting bitten by the hydra and sinking to the chamber floor. Fjord, run through by a merrow’s harpoon, a look of shock and surprise on his face. Yasha smashed into the dirt by a hill giant in the Victory Pit during Harvest’s Close. Nott nearly bitten in half by a manticore, looking even smaller in its jaws. Caleb with three crossbow bolts sticking out of him after a bandit attack. Caduceus floating limp and lifeless in the body of a water elemental. Molly…. Jester hadn’t been there for him, the last time he had fallen, but she had pictured it a hundred times since then, his body on the ground, red against purple.

“You get used to it,” is what Jester ended up saying, finally. What she didn’t say was that some nights she still cried in secret after hard battles. That in the beginning she had worried constantly that she wouldn’t have enough magic to heal her new friends, that still, even now, she worried. “It’s easier, now that you’re here.”

“I’m not sure it’s something I can get used to. But I’m glad I can help.” Caduceus looked at her, and there was admiration in his eyes. “You are very strong, Miss Jester, to have taken care of everyone by yourself for so long.”

Jester felt her eyes prick with tears at the undeserved praise. “It’s only been a few months,” is what she said, even if it felt like longer. “And I do not feel strong right now. I just feel… very tired.”

“Yeah,” Caduceus said, understanding written all over his face. “Yeah, I get that.” He stretched out an arm and tilted his head in a ‘come here’ gesture.

Jester didn’t hesitate, just leaned over until her head was on Caduceus’s chest and let herself be held, like she had held him not that long ago, when the body of the hydra had still been warm at their feet. She didn’t cry, and she didn’t fall asleep, but by the end of their watch she felt better anyway, like she had done both those things.

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be part of a longer work but I decided today that it's a standalone more or less. I am working on a post battle fic with Fjord and Caleb though!
> 
> I'm angel-ascending over on Tumblr if y'all want to stop by and say hi!


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